I am not at all certain what it was, exactly, that brought about this particular epiphany, but I think I need to think more positively. Not only does this sound like a half-baked cliched New Year's Resolution of a problematic socially-awkward teen, but to make matters worse, its exactly the resolution I need.
How would one go about being a nicer, better, and more pleasant person to be around? Well, take a look at your current lifestyle, sez I to myself. Name the one thing about yourself that you find vaguely annoying and therefore most be largely more annoying to other people. Compare your attitude to that of someone much better off, socially, than you. I weighed everything out in my mind during the long journey up to the highlands. Appearance shouldn't cause any social boundaries, so that could be safely crossed out. I don't have any speech impediments, nor do I have trouble communicating. Therefore, since it wasn't something physical that you can see or hear, it had to be something else. Something not detectable by any kind of scientific analysis or implements. Something from the heart and mind. So that was it. Attitude. My attitude was all messed up.
Funny how things you say come back to bite you sometimes. I mean, just because its the internet, doesn't mean everything you mention will be taken for granted. Just look at my last post. How much negative attitude can be found in the first part of that post alone? Yikes. I frighten myself.
How would I even begin to think positive now? Fortunately, just a few days ago, I had read a recent edition of Reader's Digest Asia. The article was about marriage, which is relatively irrelevant to me, but it had an important paragraph on thinking positive. In a nutshell, it said that what is important is not what you remember, but how you remember it and express your feelings about it. In other words, instead of saying "I wish I could have spent my week of holidays bingeing out on video games, but all that homework from school ruined it," which is very much negative, I should have said "I was going to spend my whole holidays staring darkly at the TV with the video game controller in my numb hands, but thanks to the homework from school, I was able to spend my holidays productively." That is what positive thinking means.
Do you ever get a dull, bothering feeling in your chest when you realise you've been proudly doing something for all this time when it turns out you've been doing it exactly wrong from the start? Yeah, that feeling. I think I need to shorten my blogs. Tee hee.
Also, I'm going to stop being such a stick in the mud and I'm going to go ahead and put a picture of my face where my face should be. Besides, its not like I ever got Matthew Taranto's permission to use this picture on my website in the first place. However, to balance out, I'm going to have to diminish the presence of the About Me section. Wish me luck!