Sunday, February 5, 2012


So my baby sister recently got started on watching old Barney episodes on DVD, and like any modern-day electronic-oriented teenage boy I get drawn to any running TV programme like moths to an ultraviolet bug zapper, which very much the same effect. Well, its not my fault! Sometimes things like that happen when you try to do homework on a sunny Saturday afternoon! Anyway, I've got to look after my baby sister and all right?

Rewatching Barney again from a more mature (i.e. cynical) point of view than I orignally did, I realised that there are several moments in Barney that would be extremely joke-worthy, which makes me realise not for the first time that if I had been gifted with a talent for sketching rather than writing, I would be able to own a webcomic instead of a blog. The sad thing is, the former would probably end up being just as popular as the latter.

In any case, all those episodes of ABCs really brought back a dollop or two of nostalgia from my days in primary school. In fact, there are exactly two things I remember relatively clearly about my first year in primary school. These are:

1. How to play Football.
During Physical Education time, the whole class of thirty-something screaming post-toddlers would be led out by their herder, I mean teacher, into the school field. Once we were there, two team captains would be assigned. These two captains would then go to the goals on the opposite ends of the field and serve as goal-keepers. The remaining 30 students would then chase the football, all at once, in a appreciable V formation, with one exceptionally fast kid leading with the ball in front. If he decided to dribble the ball to the right, the whole wave of students behind him would swerve together, and I'm sure the whole thing would have looked very nice from a bird's eye view. Occasionally one of the students under the vertex of the V would put in a sprint effort and nab the ball. I can't remember how any of them knew which goal to kick the ball at, but in any case I don't think anyone even tried to score.

2. The Alphabet
On the first day of school, I was the only one who knew how to sing the alphabet properly, believe it or not. Don't get me wrong, all the other students knew the alphabet perfectly. They just couldn't sing it right. And when you're 7 years old, the one is just as important as the other, since any teacher might ambush you with a song request. I still remember how the other 29 students sang the alphabet. Even now when I close my eyes, I can imagine the melody of their united voices raised in song...

A B C D E F G,
H I J K L M N *gasp*
O P!
Q R S, T U V,
W X, Y and Z etc. etc.

That's right. L, M, N, gasp, O, P. Meanwhile I would be standing alone on a deserted island surrounded by a sea of other kids singing exactly the same mistake. In unison. The problem was, instead of delivering LMNOP in a burst, they pronounced each letter slowly and carefully, retaining the beat of the last line, meaning their breath was pretty much exhausted from H to N. But I suppose it makes sense, because this way the letters are nicely spaced out. I'm sure there have been cases, somewhere out there in english-oriented countries, where students sang H I J K ellimeno P. Which do you suppose works out better for the student then?

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